thinking

i'm still alive.

an experience during work today really had me thinking all day. a mother shared her deceased daughter's journals with me. i really hesitated to look. and as i started to read, the thoughts i read were so personal, so honest, and most of all so sad. i wondered how i felt about her knowing that someday some stranger would come and read her thoughts during the worst moments of her life. she died before turning 28.

it's been four years - and the more i spoke to this mother, tears would form in her eyes. it was just heartbreaking. there was something about this experience that made me feel very connected to this woman. i wondered if it was just the empathy we have when we're on assignment. then i remembered losing a friend and co-worker danielle roach. i remembered meeting her mother for the first time at the funeral and telling her that danielle had touched my life. i remember someone saying once that "parents should never outlive their children." i've known a few parents who have lost their children. i've had to document many strangers who have lost their children.

and as i look through the photographs now, looking into her face, at old photographs of her daughter, the texture of the words in her journal...i don't know - it just had me thinking...